I Worried All Day 

It’s not the question of whether or not the killing of Philando Castile was justified that’s bothering me. What’s bothering me is the fact that his 4 year old daughter was in the backseat of the car and saw this all play out. SHE WATCHED HER FATHER DIE IN FRONT OF HER. This will have a negative effect on her, mentally and emotionally, for the rest of her life: PTSD. This poor baby won’t understand any of what plays out: the nightmares, the flashbacks that come with the things that trigger her. This is a terrible thing to happen to anyone, especially a small child, and it all comes from one man choosing to pull a trigger. It bothers me that her life, and her mother’s life are treated like they don’t matter as much as mine, as a white woman, does. Racism exists on both sides, guys. It’s not just white people who can be racist. Black people can be racist, too. And it’s because of racism that a small child is going to bed tonight and probably crying herself to sleep because all she understands is that daddy isn’t there to tuck her in tonight. THAT is what’s been in the back of my mind all day. It absolutely breaks my heart.

From one girl who was at the scene of a parent’s death to another: you can do this. The journey is rough, but keep your head up. Remember, it’s okay to cry; crying is a sign of strength. Nobody expects you to get over this. You will carry this grief all your life. You saw something no child should see at a young age. I’m walking with you. Your daddy is with you, sweetheart. He loves you very much.

Advertisements